31/12/2011, means today is the last day for year 2011 and it will be in history after 12am later. So, now let me try to express my feeling that I feel for this year. XD
To Toh Jia Chee, this is the first time I write you full name in my blog instead of calling you Jayshee or dear. Hahaha. Its my pleasure to have you as my girlfriends. You make me believe that long distance relationship can last long as long as each of us trust each other and understand each other. I know many people think that long distance relationship is fragile but we believe that it last long. ^^ Besides that, you have train me become more brave, have my own opinion. You are the first girl that I willing to travel to find you alone. Hahaha. I apologize that I can't find you so often and I know its hard time for you because you need to face the problem alone when I am not beside you. I am glad that you able to go through this hard time and I promise I will help and support you whenever you need it. Love you. ^^
To all my friends, thanks for accompany me all the time and tolerate to the mistake and problem I give to you all. I apologize for the things that I've done that make you all unhappy. For some of my friends, I know you all more during FYP and you all are so friend to each other until willing to accompany each other during extension of FYP. You all have show me what is called "friends". I am so glad to meet you all.
To Yin Huan, Kai Wen, Kit Yin, HL, Saw Yi. You all are so special to me and let me have a feeling that you are closer than my close friends. Hahaha. I also did not expect that I can mix so well with you girls since just me and kin tat joining your gang and we all still can be so friendly and close to each other. So, I think you all are the gift that I received from god and I appreciate it so much. Thanks for provide support to me whenever I feel down and unhappy. Whilst we can play, travel and do crazy things together so happy until no hold back. Besides that, you all also teach me the things that I can never learn without you and make me understand what a girl mind better. However, sometimes when I face a problem, I will think twice before telling you all because I am afraid you all will feel that I am annoying. Anyway, I hope our bond will not break and support each other when either 1 of us need it. BFF
So now, let's us count down for the arrival of the dawn of year 2012 and everything waiting for all of us will be good and all the unhappy thing will become past. *Peace*
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Tired
Although is just finish my final exam but still have FYP waiting for me to accomplish it. T_T
These few days I really feel tired because at the time doing FYP, need to type my thesis also, which make me totally exhausted. Luckily still have some nice programme with my friends. Hahaha. Next week going to do one extra sub project which I feel quite curious about it but also feel quite afraid of it because the success rate is not very high. ( My supervisor tell me that ). Really hope things won't mess up. LOL.
Today I just feel like want to be alone and prefer silence. Just want to lay on my bed and listen to some relaxing soft music. Perhaps tomorrow my mood will be better.
These few days I really feel tired because at the time doing FYP, need to type my thesis also, which make me totally exhausted. Luckily still have some nice programme with my friends. Hahaha. Next week going to do one extra sub project which I feel quite curious about it but also feel quite afraid of it because the success rate is not very high. ( My supervisor tell me that ). Really hope things won't mess up. LOL.
Today I just feel like want to be alone and prefer silence. Just want to lay on my bed and listen to some relaxing soft music. Perhaps tomorrow my mood will be better.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
December
Well, its December again, the last month for every year. Perhaps got a lot of people is planning for vacation as well as preparing for Christmas. For me, is the rush hour for my FYP, final and also review of the year.
However, this time I change my way to arrange my time. By avoiding giving too much pressure to myself like previous semester where I almost unable to control my emotion. Dear, thank you, after go KL and visit you, you give me a very strong message that I need to take care of myself so that I able to take care of you in the future. I also know that during previous semester you worry I unable to take care of my health due to extremely high pressure I put on to myself. I apologize for that. For the FYP, I know you worry that I might not have enough time to write my thesis and keep on asking me. I can feel your care and I will make the time to finish my thesis. Once again, thanks a lot for giving me mentally support and your caring is so warm to me. I promise that I will try my very best for my final as well as my FYP. Same to you. ^^
For my friends, let's try our best in the final and give our best for our FYP. Gambateh! Hwating! ^.^
However, this time I change my way to arrange my time. By avoiding giving too much pressure to myself like previous semester where I almost unable to control my emotion. Dear, thank you, after go KL and visit you, you give me a very strong message that I need to take care of myself so that I able to take care of you in the future. I also know that during previous semester you worry I unable to take care of my health due to extremely high pressure I put on to myself. I apologize for that. For the FYP, I know you worry that I might not have enough time to write my thesis and keep on asking me. I can feel your care and I will make the time to finish my thesis. Once again, thanks a lot for giving me mentally support and your caring is so warm to me. I promise that I will try my very best for my final as well as my FYP. Same to you. ^^
For my friends, let's try our best in the final and give our best for our FYP. Gambateh! Hwating! ^.^
Monday, November 14, 2011
Just be yourself
Today I ask one of my friend: "Will you change yourself in order to get close to another friend or will you change yourself in order to avoid losing a friend." The answer she gave me really good and is the answer that I didn't think before. She is correct, when you change for your friends, just to make the person happy. But the personality that make the person happy is not the real you and when your friend know that you change just to make him/her happy, what will be your friend's feeling? Confirm will make both parties unhappy and more serious, maybe lost one friend. So, just be yourself.
Now, another question arise, if you know that your personality doesn't like by your friend. You are afraid of losing that friend, what should you do? I really have no idea about it. Sometimes I will ask some of my close friend that am I annoying you. I know most people will not answering the true answer but I really want a real answer from the bottom of your heart. Now, I'm really afraid I will lost a friend because of too annoying to you.
I really want to know what is my weakness and my shortcoming (e.g. too loud, too rude, etc). I know its impossible I become totally perfect in front of my friends, but please let me know so that I can try to fix my shortcoming that people really dislike or even hate.
Sometimes when I want to join into a conversation not because I "geh bo" or what, is I want to understand you all more so that have the topic to talk about. Maybe some people will feel I am too fragile or too sensitive after reading this post. But, this is real me and this is the place that I can speak the word and feeling in my heart.
Now, another question arise, if you know that your personality doesn't like by your friend. You are afraid of losing that friend, what should you do? I really have no idea about it. Sometimes I will ask some of my close friend that am I annoying you. I know most people will not answering the true answer but I really want a real answer from the bottom of your heart. Now, I'm really afraid I will lost a friend because of too annoying to you.
I really want to know what is my weakness and my shortcoming (e.g. too loud, too rude, etc). I know its impossible I become totally perfect in front of my friends, but please let me know so that I can try to fix my shortcoming that people really dislike or even hate.
Sometimes when I want to join into a conversation not because I "geh bo" or what, is I want to understand you all more so that have the topic to talk about. Maybe some people will feel I am too fragile or too sensitive after reading this post. But, this is real me and this is the place that I can speak the word and feeling in my heart.
Precious Moment Together With Friends
Yesterday badminton session is not just badminton for me, but is the session that we can play and share together. At that time, I just thinking playing but in the night, when I recall back, I figure it more than that. I also wonder why I will feel like this. This morning finally I know, this is because we all will graduate soon. Be precise is just around 6 more months. Time flies, from the first day at campus till now already 2 and a half year. From I have just 1 friend to have quite a number of friends now. Some are even my close friends where I can share my feeling, or ask for help when needed. The life in uni is different from secondary school life, totally different. Maybe during secondary school, most of us still not that mature yet but in uni, we all are almost adult, mind become more mature and comes from different places. Deep in my heart, I have a question to ask you all, am I really annoying you from the time you know me till now. But this question I really can't saying it out in front of you, but I really wanted to know. I got ask through IM but don't know why the message just cannot delivered. Is this fate?
Other than that, I also thinking what will I say to all my friends on the day we graduate @ convocation. I really cannot think of any words that can tell you all. After graduate, its very hard to gather you all again. So, in this 6 months, I will really really really appreciate every moment we are together.
Other than that, I also thinking what will I say to all my friends on the day we graduate @ convocation. I really cannot think of any words that can tell you all. After graduate, its very hard to gather you all again. So, in this 6 months, I will really really really appreciate every moment we are together.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Pressurize
Previous semester: Week 1, aiya, go play play first lar, still got a lot of time one.
This semester: Week 1, what the?!?!?! So many assignments and presentations yet have 1 mid term at week 3. Some more still have the FYP which I worry the most. In campus, I try to put maximum concentration so that I won't make myself so stress. But, when free and feel like nothing to do, my brain started to think of those things again and again.
I was wondering why some people can so steady until can do almost the last minute. Do they so tolerate to the pressure? For me, first, I really dislike last minute work and maybe this is the reason that make me why I feel so stress till like hard to breath.
But luckily I still have my close friends and you to accompany me. I really like and appreciate the moment we all are together playing, eating, chatting. I cannot describe how happy am I at that time. ^^ Although we will have chances like this for around 6 months, but I hope we will never lost contact and can visit each other sometimes. Haha
This semester: Week 1, what the?!?!?! So many assignments and presentations yet have 1 mid term at week 3. Some more still have the FYP which I worry the most. In campus, I try to put maximum concentration so that I won't make myself so stress. But, when free and feel like nothing to do, my brain started to think of those things again and again.
I was wondering why some people can so steady until can do almost the last minute. Do they so tolerate to the pressure? For me, first, I really dislike last minute work and maybe this is the reason that make me why I feel so stress till like hard to breath.
But luckily I still have my close friends and you to accompany me. I really like and appreciate the moment we all are together playing, eating, chatting. I cannot describe how happy am I at that time. ^^ Although we will have chances like this for around 6 months, but I hope we will never lost contact and can visit each other sometimes. Haha
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Chinese entry - 害怕回到从前
从上次写华语日志到现在应该有三年了吧。难怪打起华语字好像有点生疏。
最近心情也和现在的气候产生共鸣，变得低沉。做起事情来都没什么劲。
昨天听电台时听到DJ说现在有一种病成为“群体依赖症”，听着听着发现自己有类似的症状。过后就自己在想是不是太过于依赖朋友，甚至害怕自己会给朋友带来困扰而遭到讨厌。
其实我承认我是蛮依赖友谊，可能是因为从小就被灌输读书，考试等等的东西。从小学到中学我都是被很多人说我很安静，也很少朋友晚上叫我出去因为他们知道我的家人都不会给的。那段时期我真的觉得很孤单，看到朋友玩得很开心而自己却在家里无所事事。那种感觉真的很无助/无奈。可能是那时开始对友谊更加珍惜和依赖。
上了大学，终于摆脱被家人的约束。我开始改变我自己，把自己变得开朗，乐观等等。对友谊更加珍惜，也尽量和朋友混在一起，想尽量认识更多朋友。有时朋友会问我为什么周末都不要回家，我只能笑笑说不得空，其实是不想在家被约束，在这里我可以和朋友一起运动，吃饭，喝茶等等。在家里，其他人都各做各的，想全家人一起坐下来谈天的时刻都没有，想出去可是没有车用，只能呆在房间上网，发呆。。。。。。
可是从昨天开始我发现自己好像太过于依赖朋友，而开始害怕因为这样而失去朋友。可是我已经对一个人的生活方式有恐惧感了。现在不懂有什么两全其美的方法。
我的朋友们，如果我对你们造成困扰时记得告诉我，我不想失去你们才后悔。
最近心情也和现在的气候产生共鸣，变得低沉。做起事情来都没什么劲。
昨天听电台时听到DJ说现在有一种病成为“群体依赖症”，听着听着发现自己有类似的症状。过后就自己在想是不是太过于依赖朋友，甚至害怕自己会给朋友带来困扰而遭到讨厌。
其实我承认我是蛮依赖友谊，可能是因为从小就被灌输读书，考试等等的东西。从小学到中学我都是被很多人说我很安静，也很少朋友晚上叫我出去因为他们知道我的家人都不会给的。那段时期我真的觉得很孤单，看到朋友玩得很开心而自己却在家里无所事事。那种感觉真的很无助/无奈。可能是那时开始对友谊更加珍惜和依赖。
上了大学，终于摆脱被家人的约束。我开始改变我自己，把自己变得开朗，乐观等等。对友谊更加珍惜，也尽量和朋友混在一起，想尽量认识更多朋友。有时朋友会问我为什么周末都不要回家，我只能笑笑说不得空，其实是不想在家被约束，在这里我可以和朋友一起运动，吃饭，喝茶等等。在家里，其他人都各做各的，想全家人一起坐下来谈天的时刻都没有，想出去可是没有车用，只能呆在房间上网，发呆。。。。。。
可是从昨天开始我发现自己好像太过于依赖朋友，而开始害怕因为这样而失去朋友。可是我已经对一个人的生活方式有恐惧感了。现在不懂有什么两全其美的方法。
我的朋友们，如果我对你们造成困扰时记得告诉我，我不想失去你们才后悔。
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Cerebration for us
25/6/2011 till 26/6/2011 can consider as one of my happiest day and also another step for me. Its my first time go KL alone and stay at there for a night which I've never try this before. The reason I happy is that I finally can fulfill what I've promise to you that cerebrate our anniversary together. ^^
25/6/2011
Thanks to my course mate that able to fetch me to ktm station by this day. Haha. After go into the train and sit down. I feel weird because I sit at the wrong seat. Ticket say Coach 1A I sit at 1B, haha, luckily the girl beside me didn't say anything. So I act as I don't know that I sit at the wrong seat until reach my destination. The journey is not very good as the train stop for a few times on the middle of the track. The reason is traffic jam (I am serious). Anyway, I also feel relief that I reach my destination by 10 minutes late only. 1st stage complete. Next, I go with my girlfriend and her friend to Times Square. At first we all plan to take the monorail, when we walk to the station, all the screen showing a sentence :"Our service is having technical issue, delay is expected, sorry for inconvenience." =.=|| No choice, then we go and take taxi, we though we will reach times square soon. Suddenly, the driver say the road close and he just drop us somewhere else and charge us for RM15. WTH!!!. What we do next is go take another rapid kl go to next stop and take monorail to times square. The monorail is the one that having technical problem. It took us more than 2 hours from KL sentral to Times Square and the most important thing is we all hungry like ****. When we reach Times Square then we rush for any food. But the lunch we all have is not nice at all. Some more 1 set cost us RM18. =.=. Sweat again. Then we shopping from Times Square to Lowyat then to Sungei Wang (Of course we all like do a lot of crazy things in between). Hahaha. Next, we all have our dinner at T-bowl. It can say give me a very deep impression as all food is in one toilet bowl and the ice cream is really like a pile of ****.
After that we heading back to hostel and I become a parasite that stick to my girl friend's friend room for a night. After take bath, we all go and play monopoly deal. As me and one of her friend completely don't know how to play and they all keep on teaching and lastly become they're playing more than we're. Haha.
26/6/2011
Its been a cold night as the air-cond in the hostel temperature can't set. One thing very weird is the hostel got a smell that I only smell in a hotel. Its completely the same smell. After take my bath, we all gather at group floor and heading to the place we having our dinner - Subway. Its the first time I being forced to eat so much vegetables in the morning as more than 50% of the bread is vegetables. However, the vegetables is so fresh that I start to love it. XDD. After we chit chat for almost 1 hour+, her friend go back to hostel and both of us go to KL sentral as she want to accompany me till I depart. (I like it ^^) When reach Kl Sentral, both of us sharing one cup of Chocolate Chip Cream (If not wrong) at starbucks and sit until almost the time for me to get on the train. After a kiss Goodbye and I left KL. XD
I can say that the trip is tiring but happy. Dear, I am happy and not regret to woo you that time. I love you. ^^
Monday, May 30, 2011
30/5/2011
The first day of my final year. Well, today when I first come to school, what I see is a lot of student wearing utar T-shirt hanging around outside of lecture hall and I wonder why they don't just go inside the lecture hall and wait. This is the same phenomenon when I am still year 1 sem 1, completely freshmen and like feeling lost because I just don't know want to go where. This also make me think that time passes so fast and now I am already from a freshmen becoming a final year student.
Today first lecture, Organizational behavior. What I can say is I don't really know what she is teaching about. It seem like touching some of interpersonal communication and some relating of human resources. Now I am still wondering, is this subject a 'rojak' of both previous subject that I took.One thing I like is that the lecturer saying that this subject is mainly on critical thinking which means that I can elaborate the answer as much as I can since the past year paper showing that one sub-question carry around 16 marks, wahahaha.
Another thing is the assignment group that I join for this subject is completely new which I haven't do assignment with them before. Don't know what kind of spark will emerged when the time we doing the assignment. Anyway, I hope we can cooperate well and let's complete the assignment nicely. XD
After the tutorial, I got quite a number of task to do. First, go DSA and book the bus and then from block C go until block F to make the payment at finance and then go back to block C again to give the receipt to the officer. After that, rush back to my room and transfer the booking deposit to High 5. Guess what, now my account nearly 'dried up'. Wednesday sure go and ask people to pay rm20 to me. If not, I need to eat 'north-east wind' already. T_T
I think I will end this entry here as my stomach is telling me is the time to have dinner with friend. What I can say about today is quite happy and just feel like we all are reunion again although we have just didn't see each other for 2 weeks. Haha
Today first lecture, Organizational behavior. What I can say is I don't really know what she is teaching about. It seem like touching some of interpersonal communication and some relating of human resources. Now I am still wondering, is this subject a 'rojak' of both previous subject that I took.One thing I like is that the lecturer saying that this subject is mainly on critical thinking which means that I can elaborate the answer as much as I can since the past year paper showing that one sub-question carry around 16 marks, wahahaha.
Another thing is the assignment group that I join for this subject is completely new which I haven't do assignment with them before. Don't know what kind of spark will emerged when the time we doing the assignment. Anyway, I hope we can cooperate well and let's complete the assignment nicely. XD
After the tutorial, I got quite a number of task to do. First, go DSA and book the bus and then from block C go until block F to make the payment at finance and then go back to block C again to give the receipt to the officer. After that, rush back to my room and transfer the booking deposit to High 5. Guess what, now my account nearly 'dried up'. Wednesday sure go and ask people to pay rm20 to me. If not, I need to eat 'north-east wind' already. T_T
I think I will end this entry here as my stomach is telling me is the time to have dinner with friend. What I can say about today is quite happy and just feel like we all are reunion again although we have just didn't see each other for 2 weeks. Haha
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Wesak Day
I know this day for those who are studying primary or secondary school and those who are working will be happy since today is a holiday. Hahaha! It doesn't affect me since I am still enjoying my sem break. Wakakaka!
Wesak day, for me is just same as usual - staying at home with nothing to do. Be honest, from the day I born until now I really don't know what kind of cerebration will held during Wesak Day as this day I will only stay inside house. Don't know why will like this, maybe this is the type of my family culture. Sobsob.
Anywhere, instead of just sitting inside my room. I will do something meaningful - find the information regarding this festival. Okay ladies and gentlemen, let's start our lesson from wikipedia XDD
Wesak day, for me is just same as usual - staying at home with nothing to do. Be honest, from the day I born until now I really don't know what kind of cerebration will held during Wesak Day as this day I will only stay inside house. Don't know why will like this, maybe this is the type of my family culture. Sobsob.
Anywhere, instead of just sitting inside my room. I will do something meaningful - find the information regarding this festival. Okay ladies and gentlemen, let's start our lesson from wikipedia XDD
The decision to agree to celebrate the Vesākha as the Buddha’s birthday was formalized at the first Conference of the World Fellowship of Buddhists held in Sri Lanka in 1950, although festivals at this time in the Buddhist world are a centuries-old tradition. The Resolution that was adopted at the World Conference reads as follows:
| “ | That this Conference of the World Fellowship of Buddhists, while recording its appreciation of the gracious act of His Majesty, the Maharaja of Nepal in making the full-moon day of Vesak a Public Holiday in Nepal, earnestly requests the Heads of Governments of all countries in which large or small number of Buddhists are to be found, to take steps to make the full-moon day in the month of May a Public Holiday in honour of the Buddha, who is universally acclaimed as one of the greatest benefactors of Humanity. | ” |
On Vesākha Day, Buddhists all over the world commemorate events of significance to Buddhists of all traditions: The birth, enlightenment and the passing away of Gautama Buddha. As Buddhism spread from India it was assimilated into many foreign cultures, and consequently Vesākha is celebrated in many different ways all over the world.
Haha, if want any further information please go and google it.
At last, I wish everyone can have an enjoyable and peaceful Wesak Day. ^^
Monday, May 16, 2011
Holiday!
I am now having my sem break!!! Hooray
During final exam time, I was looking toward the coming sem break. However, now during sem break, I feel bored and everyday just stay at home and do nothing. When I read my friend's blog, I can feel that they are really enjoying their holiday by having a lot of activity. I really hope I can have that much activity to do instead just stayed inside my house and surf the internet.
What can I do? At home, no car for me to use, siblings need to go to school, and my motor at kampar. Wanted to go to meet friends or shopping also don't have transport. I really don't have idea to spend my holiday and it really ruined my plan as there is no TRANSPORTATION for me. T_T
I also know that even the car is available in the house, I also cannot use it as my parents do not allow me to drive alone. When I ask why, they will just say that I will cause the car to scratches or what. OMG, that means I am very dangerous when using the car?!! Fine, I will save money and buy my own car so that you won't nag me when I drive my own car.
Sometimes, I understand that they are caring me but its just make me feel like overprotected. I can feel that now I cannot make decision in confidence. I felt that I am too dependent. Although I have try hard to be independent, but I just do not have the confidence when facing problem. I will feel afraid of it and will think of how to give up. I really want to get back my confidence and to be optimistic.
During final exam time, I was looking toward the coming sem break. However, now during sem break, I feel bored and everyday just stay at home and do nothing. When I read my friend's blog, I can feel that they are really enjoying their holiday by having a lot of activity. I really hope I can have that much activity to do instead just stayed inside my house and surf the internet.
What can I do? At home, no car for me to use, siblings need to go to school, and my motor at kampar. Wanted to go to meet friends or shopping also don't have transport. I really don't have idea to spend my holiday and it really ruined my plan as there is no TRANSPORTATION for me. T_T
I also know that even the car is available in the house, I also cannot use it as my parents do not allow me to drive alone. When I ask why, they will just say that I will cause the car to scratches or what. OMG, that means I am very dangerous when using the car?!! Fine, I will save money and buy my own car so that you won't nag me when I drive my own car.
Sometimes, I understand that they are caring me but its just make me feel like overprotected. I can feel that now I cannot make decision in confidence. I felt that I am too dependent. Although I have try hard to be independent, but I just do not have the confidence when facing problem. I will feel afraid of it and will think of how to give up. I really want to get back my confidence and to be optimistic.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
No more EMO!!!!!
I've read my previous post, I felt that I need to be more optimistic because almost 80% of previous post is about unhappy and emo emo things only. So now, I think need to share something different.
Thanks to Henry who willing to fetch me for dinner in the rain. Haha. Just now finished dinner my my friends, its can consider as great time because while we has our food, we can chit chat with others and discussing also.
Noodles? Rice? Noodle? Rice?. We seem like cannot make decision because we keep on struggling want to have noodle of rice and we need to think for quite a while for the place we want go for dinner and make our 'driver' keep on wasting petrol. Hahaha
Now another question, should I go and watch seniors' FYP presentation? Or stay inside my room and do revision? Hmm, open book quiz and close book lab test. Urgh, cannot make decision again, depends to my friends and see because there is no point I go alone, sit there and watch. Sure fall asleep.
Jack! Be confidence and make dicision!!!!!
P/S: Why just now go for dinner and you seem like quite unhappy?
Thanks to Henry who willing to fetch me for dinner in the rain. Haha. Just now finished dinner my my friends, its can consider as great time because while we has our food, we can chit chat with others and discussing also.
Noodles? Rice? Noodle? Rice?. We seem like cannot make decision because we keep on struggling want to have noodle of rice and we need to think for quite a while for the place we want go for dinner and make our 'driver' keep on wasting petrol. Hahaha
Now another question, should I go and watch seniors' FYP presentation? Or stay inside my room and do revision? Hmm, open book quiz and close book lab test. Urgh, cannot make decision again, depends to my friends and see because there is no point I go alone, sit there and watch. Sure fall asleep.
Jack! Be confidence and make dicision!!!!!
P/S: Why just now go for dinner and you seem like quite unhappy?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Depressed? Lost?
After gets back my results of quizzes, I can says that I am not quite satisfied with the results I get for some subjects. I was thinking the reasons and possible ways to overcomes this problem. But until now I still cannot figured a way to overcome it. After go through the test papers, I felt quite depressed and disappointed. Most of the questions I gets wrong are not the questions that I cannot do, but is due to careless. Were this due to over-confidence? This may due to my attitude that like to compare and the attitude that doesn't want to admit loses. The subjects that I felt that I can do it well are those that I make the most careless mistakes. Therefore, every-time I get the test paper, I will surely blame myself although I know is useless to blame at that moment.
As there are more quiz, mid-term, MUET and lab test coming. I am currently under great pressure. Not because I give too much pressure to myself. Is mainly I don't want to disappoint my parents. Sometimes, when they see my result and ask me why my result not good, I felt very sad and depressed, I've work so hard during revision but the result is like this. I understand whats my parents feeling because they did not saw how hard I revise.
One thing I doesn't like was compare result which some of my course-mate did and sometimes I did it as well. What is the point of comparing result with one another? Will you feel happy or proud when you see others get lower marks than you? If you really want to compare, compare with your own, then only you can see whether you are improving or not. Do you know the feeling of others when you comparing result with them? I will feel like being insulted if they keep on compare result with me. It's hurt.
To my friends, may be you felt that I became emo and talk less these days, not because I don't like you. Is because of the result. Maybe I set the expectation too high. Maybe I should not "over-care" of the result until it affect my mood seriously or maybe I should be optimistic. Sometimes, I need supports but I just don't dare to request. I'm afraid they will felt I am annoying.
To all my friends, let's try our best. ^^
As there are more quiz, mid-term, MUET and lab test coming. I am currently under great pressure. Not because I give too much pressure to myself. Is mainly I don't want to disappoint my parents. Sometimes, when they see my result and ask me why my result not good, I felt very sad and depressed, I've work so hard during revision but the result is like this. I understand whats my parents feeling because they did not saw how hard I revise.
One thing I doesn't like was compare result which some of my course-mate did and sometimes I did it as well. What is the point of comparing result with one another? Will you feel happy or proud when you see others get lower marks than you? If you really want to compare, compare with your own, then only you can see whether you are improving or not. Do you know the feeling of others when you comparing result with them? I will feel like being insulted if they keep on compare result with me. It's hurt.
To my friends, may be you felt that I became emo and talk less these days, not because I don't like you. Is because of the result. Maybe I set the expectation too high. Maybe I should not "over-care" of the result until it affect my mood seriously or maybe I should be optimistic. Sometimes, I need supports but I just don't dare to request. I'm afraid they will felt I am annoying.
To all my friends, let's try our best. ^^
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Am I not mature enough?
Around this 2 weeks, I keep on thinking of some question and problem I facing. I think that I am not mature yet.
After being a chairman in handling one of the event, I felt that I need to be more confident and be more mature in making decision. At the beginning, I think that it is not that hard but after taking this position, I feel that it formed pressure on me. Every-time thinking how to improve this and that, how to solve this and that. One of my major weakness is in making decision because when I want to make any decision, I need to think the people around me, will they object my decision, will this decision make anyone unhappy and etc. This make me not confident enough in making decision. So, I'll need lot of opinion before making a decision, even is not a big decision though.
Besides that, I think some of my friend are able to see that actually I am quite childish from my speaking, action and etc. This may due to the friends I mix with during secondary school. I admit during secondary school, I make a lot of childish jokes and action with friends. I have no choice on that time, because I change from different school and in my mind at that time, I only think that if want to become friend, I have to join them. This make my speaking and action now is still like that time. After some days of thinking the way to overcome this problem, I've make a decision that I will not speak any foul language except some mild one from now on and I will control my action not to be that childish. I do really hope I can make it.
The third problem is I cannot control my emotion or mood. Every-time, I just feel like my emotion is control by others.Until now, I still haven't figure a way to prevent control by my mood but is control my mood by me.
For LL-LZ, its my pleasure to meet you all. At the beginning of my uni life, its been a fear for me for not making any close friend. But luckily have you all make me feel that the friendship among us. Thanks
However, I am happy that some of my friends actually point out what is my weakness and things that I need to change. Thank you you all.
For you, its been a glad moment since we are together, you do really change me a lot, you make me know a lot of things, you make me become more mature than before and you teach me what is caring, loving, and etc. You are the gift to me and I hope I am also a pleasure gift to you. ^^
After being a chairman in handling one of the event, I felt that I need to be more confident and be more mature in making decision. At the beginning, I think that it is not that hard but after taking this position, I feel that it formed pressure on me. Every-time thinking how to improve this and that, how to solve this and that. One of my major weakness is in making decision because when I want to make any decision, I need to think the people around me, will they object my decision, will this decision make anyone unhappy and etc. This make me not confident enough in making decision. So, I'll need lot of opinion before making a decision, even is not a big decision though.
Besides that, I think some of my friend are able to see that actually I am quite childish from my speaking, action and etc. This may due to the friends I mix with during secondary school. I admit during secondary school, I make a lot of childish jokes and action with friends. I have no choice on that time, because I change from different school and in my mind at that time, I only think that if want to become friend, I have to join them. This make my speaking and action now is still like that time. After some days of thinking the way to overcome this problem, I've make a decision that I will not speak any foul language except some mild one from now on and I will control my action not to be that childish. I do really hope I can make it.
The third problem is I cannot control my emotion or mood. Every-time, I just feel like my emotion is control by others.Until now, I still haven't figure a way to prevent control by my mood but is control my mood by me.
For LL-LZ, its my pleasure to meet you all. At the beginning of my uni life, its been a fear for me for not making any close friend. But luckily have you all make me feel that the friendship among us. Thanks
However, I am happy that some of my friends actually point out what is my weakness and things that I need to change. Thank you you all.
For you, its been a glad moment since we are together, you do really change me a lot, you make me know a lot of things, you make me become more mature than before and you teach me what is caring, loving, and etc. You are the gift to me and I hope I am also a pleasure gift to you. ^^
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
How are you?
Dear, how are you now? Still very sick or getting better already?
Maybe what your parents says is correct, you sick because you are under great pressure. Actually, I also have responsibilities for it. I think I've set a high target for you can caused you getting sick. If you really cannot achieve it then just try your best. You also don't push yourselves too hard ok? You say that you afraid that you will disappointed your parents if not getting a good result. I think they will prefer you have a healthy body than good result. This is for sure, because if you get good result but your body weak, your parents will be more sad than happy. For the assignment and lab report that you say is tough, you can try to change your mind that don't keep on saying it is tough. The more you say it is tough, it will become tougher because you told your mind that it is very hard to do. So, just try your best and when you really cannot do it. Stop it and go for a short walk to relax your mind.
I hope that you will recover soon. I am very worry about you.
Maybe what your parents says is correct, you sick because you are under great pressure. Actually, I also have responsibilities for it. I think I've set a high target for you can caused you getting sick. If you really cannot achieve it then just try your best. You also don't push yourselves too hard ok? You say that you afraid that you will disappointed your parents if not getting a good result. I think they will prefer you have a healthy body than good result. This is for sure, because if you get good result but your body weak, your parents will be more sad than happy. For the assignment and lab report that you say is tough, you can try to change your mind that don't keep on saying it is tough. The more you say it is tough, it will become tougher because you told your mind that it is very hard to do. So, just try your best and when you really cannot do it. Stop it and go for a short walk to relax your mind.
I hope that you will recover soon. I am very worry about you.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tired until short of breathe
Mid term, quiz, lab test, lab report, assignment, presentation. All these "friends" are coming toward me like swarm of bees. These day I've nearly use all my time to deal with this. Only for the mid term I've already use 2 days but still unable to finish revising it. Issssshhhhhhhhhhhh. I gonna fainted soon since still got lab test in this week. Week 7 principle of biotech midterm, week 8 microbiology mid term, week 9 and 10 presentations, week 11 onwards lab test. week 16 final. This is called university life?????
At the beginning of this semester, we all still relax relax and waiting for CNY to come and celebrate and now, we are celebrating when is the due date of assignment, lab report, presentation, and all sorts of things. Quote from Andrew : UTAR is university tidak ada rehat. Quite true though. Sommore today my classes are until 8pm. This means today can't revise much of it. Its really a big challenge for me on my time management. Now have to stop all the online games, and also what ever games except facebook. XD
Anyway, guys and gals, lets try our best and have a blast with it together. ^^
At the beginning of this semester, we all still relax relax and waiting for CNY to come and celebrate and now, we are celebrating when is the due date of assignment, lab report, presentation, and all sorts of things. Quote from Andrew : UTAR is university tidak ada rehat. Quite true though. Sommore today my classes are until 8pm. This means today can't revise much of it. Its really a big challenge for me on my time management. Now have to stop all the online games, and also what ever games except facebook. XD
Anyway, guys and gals, lets try our best and have a blast with it together. ^^
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thanks be with me
With so many things happened to me. I feel tired, I just cannot stand the pressure you give to me. I just cannot sync with the world that you live. I have my own lifestyle. For now, I just swollen whatever things you give to me. Maybe you just don't know the word you say is actually hurting the other people. Why can't you just listen to others and also respect to others? Its hard to find someone you trust among my friends to say it out.
However, I also glad that I have other friends who support me. Thank you for being my side. Actually these day mix with u all did cheer up my life. I don't dare to always bother you all because I'm afraid will caused annoying feeling to you all.
Maybe time can reduce my pressure and make me forget about it.
However, I also glad that I have other friends who support me. Thank you for being my side. Actually these day mix with u all did cheer up my life. I don't dare to always bother you all because I'm afraid will caused annoying feeling to you all.
Maybe time can reduce my pressure and make me forget about it.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Happy Chinese New Year 2011
Yeah, after 2 weeks of new trimester, now finally can put down all the pressure and work. What I need to do now is relax and enjoy the coming CNY.
Although now haven't CNY but since my relatives had already come back and come visit my house almost everyday and every night. This gives me the feeling of CNY. What I like about CNY is not because of the programme on television, but is because can chit chat, eat, having fun with relatives. I like that kind of feeling, it gives me a very happy, warm, prosperity feeling to me.
As tomorrow is reunion night or CNY's eve, now I have prepare the mood of it. Since tomorrow afternoon my relatives will come my house and have reunion lunch first. So, I surely need to help my parents in preparing the meal and also arrangement. Haha, hope won't make them become even busy. Tomorrow night I will have reunion dinner with relatives at my grandmother house. This is our traditional, but I also felt happy about this traditional, it makes our relationship closer and happier. ^^
Anyway, I am quite sad about what happened to my gf who lives at Segamat. If not flooding, now they will be on the way to Kedah and have their happy CNY there. Now, they just celebrate CNY in their own house. Dear, although you cannot go Kedah and celebrate with your relatives, but I will accompany you via phone. I am quite worry about the situation of your location because just now the news say on 3rd of February, there will be raining at your location.
I am waiting for tomorrow reunion or CNY's eve to come. ^^ Let's forget what makes us unhappy and let's be happy. wish my dear and all my friends can have a happy CNY. ^^
Although now haven't CNY but since my relatives had already come back and come visit my house almost everyday and every night. This gives me the feeling of CNY. What I like about CNY is not because of the programme on television, but is because can chit chat, eat, having fun with relatives. I like that kind of feeling, it gives me a very happy, warm, prosperity feeling to me.
As tomorrow is reunion night or CNY's eve, now I have prepare the mood of it. Since tomorrow afternoon my relatives will come my house and have reunion lunch first. So, I surely need to help my parents in preparing the meal and also arrangement. Haha, hope won't make them become even busy. Tomorrow night I will have reunion dinner with relatives at my grandmother house. This is our traditional, but I also felt happy about this traditional, it makes our relationship closer and happier. ^^
Anyway, I am quite sad about what happened to my gf who lives at Segamat. If not flooding, now they will be on the way to Kedah and have their happy CNY there. Now, they just celebrate CNY in their own house. Dear, although you cannot go Kedah and celebrate with your relatives, but I will accompany you via phone. I am quite worry about the situation of your location because just now the news say on 3rd of February, there will be raining at your location.
I am waiting for tomorrow reunion or CNY's eve to come. ^^ Let's forget what makes us unhappy and let's be happy. wish my dear and all my friends can have a happy CNY. ^^
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dating with you in KL
Well, its a very sweet and happy moment with dating with you, dear. ^^
Now I think you will trust me more than before because I have fulfill what I promise to you. Hehe
The moment when I hug you is really enjoy, its very warm and a feeling that like want to continue hug u.
The most surprise is I really can't believe that you are the one who kiss me. Haha, because when you say I think you just kidding but now I believe it. The feeling is kinda touch and happy. your kiss is warm also. XD
Besides you, I would like to say thank you to your friends who guide us from mid valley until I get on to my train. Dear, tell them if got chance I will treat them for a meal or what lar. Really appreciate for their help.
By the way, I would like to say sorry to you that hide that I have stomach ache and did not smile to you.
Although the time with you on that day is just only few hours but I really did enjoy it and maybe few more times later I will stay in KL for a couple of days. Ok?
You also say that you will come Kampar to visit me right? I waiting for that day to come. Hehe, but I tell you first that Kampar don't have megamall like KL wor. So are you ok with it? ^^
Dear, ytd is just 4 days after anniversary, so will you mind coz I cerebrate with you 4 days later? Tell me wor. XD. However, since my new trimester will start tomorrow, so sometimes I may not have enough time to accompany you, I would like to say sorry about that.
Dear, thats all for this entry lar. If I think of any want to add in, I will write it in a new entry.
Dear, I love you. ^^ Muacks
P/S: Next time I will take taxi because I have afraid of the sardine like KTM. :P
Now I think you will trust me more than before because I have fulfill what I promise to you. Hehe
The moment when I hug you is really enjoy, its very warm and a feeling that like want to continue hug u.
The most surprise is I really can't believe that you are the one who kiss me. Haha, because when you say I think you just kidding but now I believe it. The feeling is kinda touch and happy. your kiss is warm also. XD
Besides you, I would like to say thank you to your friends who guide us from mid valley until I get on to my train. Dear, tell them if got chance I will treat them for a meal or what lar. Really appreciate for their help.
By the way, I would like to say sorry to you that hide that I have stomach ache and did not smile to you.
Although the time with you on that day is just only few hours but I really did enjoy it and maybe few more times later I will stay in KL for a couple of days. Ok?
You also say that you will come Kampar to visit me right? I waiting for that day to come. Hehe, but I tell you first that Kampar don't have megamall like KL wor. So are you ok with it? ^^
Dear, ytd is just 4 days after anniversary, so will you mind coz I cerebrate with you 4 days later? Tell me wor. XD. However, since my new trimester will start tomorrow, so sometimes I may not have enough time to accompany you, I would like to say sorry about that.
Dear, thats all for this entry lar. If I think of any want to add in, I will write it in a new entry.
Dear, I love you. ^^ Muacks
P/S: Next time I will take taxi because I have afraid of the sardine like KTM. :P
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Whole New Year
Time flies really fast, its 2011 now and I think I am quite late to write an entry about this. Haha
The feeling is great when comes to a new year because the target I set, things I want all is new.
A new year also means the friendship between me and my friend is getting closer since is another year since we met each other. Although now is semester break but I can tell you that I miss my friend. Haha. My degree friends, its been 1.5 years since we meet each other. I am very happy to say that its my pleasure to meet with you guys and girls. Among them, knowing LL and LZ is just like a gift for me. Just 1.5 more years, we all will graduate and I hope that time we won't forget each other and can meet again for a meal or what. For my house-mate, its been the 8th years since we met each other, I also felt impressive when I recalling this memory.
For her, I am also very happy to say that, we are together for another year already, until now it is already 3 years. Haha, the person should know who is the 'her' in this paragraph. It is hard to believe that we have come along for the third year. I remember since the first time we know each other is when we are playing in a forum. Its a miracle when comes to like a people, the feeling is warm, the person will make you like you can trust her, the feeling of well-being. I think you want to know why that time I will choose you. Besides the reasons I wrote just now, it is because I think you are the right person. At the beginning, I am not confident that we can maintain our relationship for a long period since we not knowing each other quite well. But, now, I can say that our relationship is getting better since we getting to know the personality of each other better. Sometimes, you will say that you have nothing is good but now I can tell you that, you have a lot of advantage. You are kind, you are a caring person, although sometimes you are capricious but I will accept it because no one in perfect and for a couple, both of us should tolerate each other in order to minimize any argue, fighting. I remembered when I am sick, you are very nervous and keep blaming yourselves that you are not besides me and cannot take care of me. I am very touch that time when heard you say that. You also leading me to a more mature level where you need me to be more independent, more brave, be more resolute, and etc. There is lot of advantage that you cannot feel but I can tell you that I can feel all of it. You are studying psychology, you should know that people have four windows or Johari windows ( I don't want go too detail about it) Haha.
Now you are getting ready to start you degree level education, I wish you can be more hardworking and don't be lazy since degree level doesn't like foundation that you can prepared last minutes. Dear, congratulation for you brilliant foundation result and now make you result a better grade. ^^ love you ^^
At last, I hope me, my girlfriend and all my friends will have a better and brighter future. I also wishes all the things will getting better. ^^
The feeling is great when comes to a new year because the target I set, things I want all is new.
A new year also means the friendship between me and my friend is getting closer since is another year since we met each other. Although now is semester break but I can tell you that I miss my friend. Haha. My degree friends, its been 1.5 years since we meet each other. I am very happy to say that its my pleasure to meet with you guys and girls. Among them, knowing LL and LZ is just like a gift for me. Just 1.5 more years, we all will graduate and I hope that time we won't forget each other and can meet again for a meal or what. For my house-mate, its been the 8th years since we met each other, I also felt impressive when I recalling this memory.
For her, I am also very happy to say that, we are together for another year already, until now it is already 3 years. Haha, the person should know who is the 'her' in this paragraph. It is hard to believe that we have come along for the third year. I remember since the first time we know each other is when we are playing in a forum. Its a miracle when comes to like a people, the feeling is warm, the person will make you like you can trust her, the feeling of well-being. I think you want to know why that time I will choose you. Besides the reasons I wrote just now, it is because I think you are the right person. At the beginning, I am not confident that we can maintain our relationship for a long period since we not knowing each other quite well. But, now, I can say that our relationship is getting better since we getting to know the personality of each other better. Sometimes, you will say that you have nothing is good but now I can tell you that, you have a lot of advantage. You are kind, you are a caring person, although sometimes you are capricious but I will accept it because no one in perfect and for a couple, both of us should tolerate each other in order to minimize any argue, fighting. I remembered when I am sick, you are very nervous and keep blaming yourselves that you are not besides me and cannot take care of me. I am very touch that time when heard you say that. You also leading me to a more mature level where you need me to be more independent, more brave, be more resolute, and etc. There is lot of advantage that you cannot feel but I can tell you that I can feel all of it. You are studying psychology, you should know that people have four windows or Johari windows ( I don't want go too detail about it) Haha.
Now you are getting ready to start you degree level education, I wish you can be more hardworking and don't be lazy since degree level doesn't like foundation that you can prepared last minutes. Dear, congratulation for you brilliant foundation result and now make you result a better grade. ^^ love you ^^
At last, I hope me, my girlfriend and all my friends will have a better and brighter future. I also wishes all the things will getting better. ^^
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