人，有时候不能太善良

人别太善良，
也别太大方，
时间久了，你身边的人就会觉得你所做的一切都是你应该的。

即使有一天你撑不住了，累了，
也没有人会心疼你，同情你。
因为在他们眼里，这些都是你愿意做的。

太过迁就别人，
别人就会变本加厉的为难你；
太过忍让别人，
别人就会得寸进尺的伤害你。

心眼也别太好了，
不要什么事情都为别人着想，
因为，
有的人不会想你的感受，
你的难处，你的种种不易，
甚至连一句温暖的话都没有！
他们会觉得一切都是理所当然。

Sleepless Night Moody Night

I think today will be my sleepless night after realized what had happened.

I felt like being thrown into an endless cavern after you tell me that you have no feeling already. Actually I have sense you've been cold to me for a period of time, but I don't want to be in such emo condition and keep laughing and saying sweet things and word to you, but what I get is just cold respond or just ignore me. I know you are busy with your career and you also told me that you are tired after whole day working. I also tolerate with you because I just don't want to have any argument. I also know once start argue because of this problem, it will poses a high threat to our relationship. Previously you've been saying that I like to hide my own emotion to you. After that I have try to disclose or show my emotion to you but what I really want is just care from you. Although I am a man, but I will also get injured at workplace or other, I also have my own emotion and feeling too, I also need someone to care for me also. However, after several attempts to show you my emotion and feeling, I started to realize that if I keep showing my emotion, I will put even more negative emotion on you also. That is why I now try to be very happy so that you are able to ease yourself when chatting with me. But what I get is just ignore and cold response from you. It's really hurt.

Today when you ask me why felt like we are like getting quite far apart from each other. I also wonder why, then you said it is your problem and I treat you very good. When I read this, my heart was broken. Does that means no matter how hard I try to improve our relationship, neither work because is your problem? All these years I have try many different method to improve because I LOVE YOU but the answer that I get is like telling me that all my effort just wasted.

It's been seven years since we together and we have gone through lots of obstacles together. Are long distance relationship really that hard to maintain? For now I keep telling myself that this is just a transition period because you need to adapt to your new environment but I afraid don't know which day I will exceed my own limit and doing something unexpected. I now hope that day won't come. I hope you will not read this post or else sure you will said why don't tell you on the phone but what can I said is sometimes it is hard to say such harsh thing through my mouth. That is why I choose to write it on my blog.

Last, I want to tell you that we have been laugh and cry countless time and yet we are still able to go through all the obstacles. I just hope this obstacles can also go through together, I LOVE YOU!

If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me.

Intern that caught my attention

I have gone through and guiding quite a number of intern students. But the intern that enter this month is really caught my attention. I have guide the intern for almost 2 weeks and what can I says so far is this person that I want to work with.

When I first saw this student, I am sorry to say that I have preconceptions about her. What comes into my mind is that :maybe just another student that just want to fulfill the industrial training requirement from university. Here, I would like to say sorry to you for have such prejudice on you.

After first several contact and guiding, I have started to change my point of view. I started to see my own shadow from the student (Sorry for my narcissism :P). I saw the student have the desire to learn and absorb as much as possible and I am able to get enormous feedback from the student where I barely get any feedback from others, I really enjoy receiving feedback so I have that enthusiasm to teach what I know to the student. (Friends who know me very well will know that I will not willing to teach anything when I barely get any respond or feedback from my student). Secondly, the student is just like a sponge that able to absorb what I taught and able to recall back when I ask. This is actually shock me, her learning ability have exceed my expectation.

After some days, I only found out that she is actually my sister schoolmate. What a small world we all are living at. LOL!!! After that, more and more common interest are found out and feeling like we are more like senior and junior instead of supervisor and "supervisee". However, sad case is that its just an intern, it would be glad if we are colleague as working with person that have the similar behavior with you will definitely have mutual benefit. 

I hope that after ended of your internship, we are able to continue as friend and also mentor to each other as I can see I am able to learn quite a number of new things from you (such as drugs, haha). Furthermore, we can share and discuss our common interest that unable to tell you during office hours. Last but not least, I am feeling happy that able to pass my related knowledge to you and feeling proud that I met a friend like you.

Let's keep in touch and wish you all the best in your study and future undertaking. You are welcome to find me or ask for help if you facing any problem. Cheers. :)

Breakage of Barrier

It's been a long day for me as what happened in workplace between me and my colleague keep on repeat and repeat in my mind. However, I am totally relieved after today several hours of chats, both of us has opened and expressed all our feeling to each others that lies deep inside our heart. Our barrier that barred us from each others has finally break, no more blind guess and no more misunderstanding.

First, I would like to say thank you to you as you still believe me when there's been lot of accusation on me by saying that I spreading negative news in workplace and etc. I admit I will become aggressive when facing unfair matter or I can consider as opposition party in the company. However, I am sorry to say that I don't think I doing it wrong as what I said is a fact indeed. But now since you already become my superior, I will try my best to control my aggressiveness. I act like this not because I afraid any action from management but is just because I do not want to put you in trouble again. I treasure you as my buddy/close friend instead of just mere colleague. 

Since beginning of the year, what I can said is that our misunderstanding to each other has become deeper and deeper till the day we talk. Partly of it is my fault as I believed easily from what I heard from others but not from your own mouth. Here, I would like to make a sincere apologize to you. Part of it is because of we are in head of different department and our department cannot have any conflict of interest or else other department will start to have misunderstand to both of our department. Thus, I hope you can understand why after we separate into different department, I tried to not to stay that close to you like before.

I have been working for some times and I can say this is the first time we opened our heart and spill all the words that kept inside to each other. What I unexpected is that the emotional impact that happened to both of us can be so big till both of us having emotional breakdown in front of each other. The good things is that this shows we played quite important role to each other other that colleague.

Last but not least, I now can tell you that you have gain my trust on you as you the first person in workplace that willing to share your feeling to me. Although we may not able to work in the same organization forever, but I hope we can be close friend forever.

2015新挑战，新自我

2015年终于来了，终于可以把2014放在一边不管了。呵呵。

今年第一单就是我被公司升职了，不过老实说我并没有感觉到开心。因为它给我太多不好的印象了，我反而期待我合约到期的那一天。我也对自己说了，我以后一定不要在有自己人的公司工作，因为人就是这样，口口声声说公平，可是我所感受到的缺失严重的不公平。我真的对那些将一套做一套的人极度反感。除此之外，我也亲身体会到那些只会搬弄是非的小人所做的一切，一些表现不错的员工，在这些自己人搬弄是非下，却被老板说表现不好而要求自动辞职。这些事已经发生过不少的次数，我也一度怀疑老板是否真的脑袋生草，别人努力的成果你没看到，反而因为自己人说几句就信以为真。我可以很肯定的告诉你，你再这样下去，我相信你的公司肯定被自己人害死。虽然说我现在升职了，可是我却没有那份热忱的心来帮你，我现在只是做我自己应该做的东西，我不会让别人干扰我，我也不会去插手别人的事情。

2015年我其中一个目标就是要在新加坡找到自己满意的工作。不过目前就已经遇到挫折了，申请了接近50份可是却有大部分已经拒绝了。看来现在要进新加坡工作还蛮艰难的，也许真的需要用点关系来得到工作了。

2015年第三个目标就是我要把目前的远距离变成近距离，毕竟在一起那么久了可是还是远距离对她真的很不公平。我很明白她一直说没有安全感，只有很不稳定的感觉。我一直很努力的改善目前的情况，我希望她有看到我所做的一切。

最后，我希望2015年所有事情都顺顺利利。哈哈！