I felt like being thrown into an endless cavern after you tell me that you have no feeling already. Actually I have sense you've been cold to me for a period of time, but I don't want to be in such emo condition and keep laughing and saying sweet things and word to you, but what I get is just cold respond or just ignore me. I know you are busy with your career and you also told me that you are tired after whole day working. I also tolerate with you because I just don't want to have any argument. I also know once start argue because of this problem, it will poses a high threat to our relationship. Previously you've been saying that I like to hide my own emotion to you. After that I have try to disclose or show my emotion to you but what I really want is just care from you. Although I am a man, but I will also get injured at workplace or other, I also have my own emotion and feeling too, I also need someone to care for me also. However, after several attempts to show you my emotion and feeling, I started to realize that if I keep showing my emotion, I will put even more negative emotion on you also. That is why I now try to be very happy so that you are able to ease yourself when chatting with me. But what I get is just ignore and cold response from you. It's really hurt.
Today when you ask me why felt like we are like getting quite far apart from each other. I also wonder why, then you said it is your problem and I treat you very good. When I read this, my heart was broken. Does that means no matter how hard I try to improve our relationship, neither work because is your problem? All these years I have try many different method to improve because I LOVE YOU but the answer that I get is like telling me that all my effort just wasted.
It's been seven years since we together and we have gone through lots of obstacles together. Are long distance relationship really that hard to maintain? For now I keep telling myself that this is just a transition period because you need to adapt to your new environment but I afraid don't know which day I will exceed my own limit and doing something unexpected. I now hope that day won't come. I hope you will not read this post or else sure you will said why don't tell you on the phone but what can I said is sometimes it is hard to say such harsh thing through my mouth. That is why I choose to write it on my blog.
Last, I want to tell you that we have been laugh and cry countless time and yet we are still able to go through all the obstacles. I just hope this obstacles can also go through together, I LOVE YOU!
If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me.
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