After gets back my results of quizzes, I can says that I am not quite satisfied with the results I get for some subjects. I was thinking the reasons and possible ways to overcomes this problem. But until now I still cannot figured a way to overcome it. After go through the test papers, I felt quite depressed and disappointed. Most of the questions I gets wrong are not the questions that I cannot do, but is due to careless. Were this due to over-confidence? This may due to my attitude that like to compare and the attitude that doesn't want to admit loses. The subjects that I felt that I can do it well are those that I make the most careless mistakes. Therefore, every-time I get the test paper, I will surely blame myself although I know is useless to blame at that moment.
As there are more quiz, mid-term, MUET and lab test coming. I am currently under great pressure. Not because I give too much pressure to myself. Is mainly I don't want to disappoint my parents. Sometimes, when they see my result and ask me why my result not good, I felt very sad and depressed, I've work so hard during revision but the result is like this. I understand whats my parents feeling because they did not saw how hard I revise.
One thing I doesn't like was compare result which some of my course-mate did and sometimes I did it as well. What is the point of comparing result with one another? Will you feel happy or proud when you see others get lower marks than you? If you really want to compare, compare with your own, then only you can see whether you are improving or not. Do you know the feeling of others when you comparing result with them? I will feel like being insulted if they keep on compare result with me. It's hurt.
To my friends, may be you felt that I became emo and talk less these days, not because I don't like you. Is because of the result. Maybe I set the expectation too high. Maybe I should not "over-care" of the result until it affect my mood seriously or maybe I should be optimistic. Sometimes, I need supports but I just don't dare to request. I'm afraid they will felt I am annoying.
To all my friends, let's try our best. ^^
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Am I not mature enough?
Around this 2 weeks, I keep on thinking of some question and problem I facing. I think that I am not mature yet.
After being a chairman in handling one of the event, I felt that I need to be more confident and be more mature in making decision. At the beginning, I think that it is not that hard but after taking this position, I feel that it formed pressure on me. Every-time thinking how to improve this and that, how to solve this and that. One of my major weakness is in making decision because when I want to make any decision, I need to think the people around me, will they object my decision, will this decision make anyone unhappy and etc. This make me not confident enough in making decision. So, I'll need lot of opinion before making a decision, even is not a big decision though.
Besides that, I think some of my friend are able to see that actually I am quite childish from my speaking, action and etc. This may due to the friends I mix with during secondary school. I admit during secondary school, I make a lot of childish jokes and action with friends. I have no choice on that time, because I change from different school and in my mind at that time, I only think that if want to become friend, I have to join them. This make my speaking and action now is still like that time. After some days of thinking the way to overcome this problem, I've make a decision that I will not speak any foul language except some mild one from now on and I will control my action not to be that childish. I do really hope I can make it.
The third problem is I cannot control my emotion or mood. Every-time, I just feel like my emotion is control by others.Until now, I still haven't figure a way to prevent control by my mood but is control my mood by me.
For LL-LZ, its my pleasure to meet you all. At the beginning of my uni life, its been a fear for me for not making any close friend. But luckily have you all make me feel that the friendship among us. Thanks
However, I am happy that some of my friends actually point out what is my weakness and things that I need to change. Thank you you all.
For you, its been a glad moment since we are together, you do really change me a lot, you make me know a lot of things, you make me become more mature than before and you teach me what is caring, loving, and etc. You are the gift to me and I hope I am also a pleasure gift to you. ^^
After being a chairman in handling one of the event, I felt that I need to be more confident and be more mature in making decision. At the beginning, I think that it is not that hard but after taking this position, I feel that it formed pressure on me. Every-time thinking how to improve this and that, how to solve this and that. One of my major weakness is in making decision because when I want to make any decision, I need to think the people around me, will they object my decision, will this decision make anyone unhappy and etc. This make me not confident enough in making decision. So, I'll need lot of opinion before making a decision, even is not a big decision though.
Besides that, I think some of my friend are able to see that actually I am quite childish from my speaking, action and etc. This may due to the friends I mix with during secondary school. I admit during secondary school, I make a lot of childish jokes and action with friends. I have no choice on that time, because I change from different school and in my mind at that time, I only think that if want to become friend, I have to join them. This make my speaking and action now is still like that time. After some days of thinking the way to overcome this problem, I've make a decision that I will not speak any foul language except some mild one from now on and I will control my action not to be that childish. I do really hope I can make it.
The third problem is I cannot control my emotion or mood. Every-time, I just feel like my emotion is control by others.Until now, I still haven't figure a way to prevent control by my mood but is control my mood by me.
For LL-LZ, its my pleasure to meet you all. At the beginning of my uni life, its been a fear for me for not making any close friend. But luckily have you all make me feel that the friendship among us. Thanks
However, I am happy that some of my friends actually point out what is my weakness and things that I need to change. Thank you you all.
For you, its been a glad moment since we are together, you do really change me a lot, you make me know a lot of things, you make me become more mature than before and you teach me what is caring, loving, and etc. You are the gift to me and I hope I am also a pleasure gift to you. ^^
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