Depressed? Lost?

After gets back my results of quizzes, I can says that I am not quite satisfied with the results I get for some subjects. I was thinking the reasons and possible ways to overcomes this problem. But until now I still cannot figured a way to overcome it. After go through the test papers, I felt quite depressed and disappointed. Most of the questions I gets wrong are not the questions that I cannot do, but is due to careless. Were this due to over-confidence? This may due to my attitude that like to compare and the attitude that doesn't want to admit loses. The subjects that I felt that I can do it well are those that I make the most careless mistakes. Therefore, every-time I get the test paper, I will surely blame myself although I know is useless to blame at that moment.

As there are more quiz, mid-term, MUET and lab test coming. I am currently under great pressure. Not because I give too much pressure to myself. Is mainly I don't want to disappoint my parents. Sometimes, when they see my result and ask me why my result not good, I felt very sad and depressed, I've work so hard during revision but the result is like this. I understand whats my parents feeling because they did not saw how hard I revise.

One thing I doesn't like was compare result which some of my course-mate did and sometimes I did it as well. What is the point of comparing result with one another? Will you feel happy or proud when you see others get lower marks than you? If you really want to compare, compare with your own, then only you can see whether you are improving or not. Do you know the feeling of others when you comparing result with them? I will feel like being insulted if they keep on compare result with me. It's hurt.

To my friends, may be you felt that I became emo and talk less these days, not because I don't like you. Is because of the result. Maybe I set the expectation too high. Maybe I should not "over-care" of the result until it affect my mood seriously or maybe I should be optimistic. Sometimes, I need supports but I just don't dare to request. I'm afraid they will felt I am annoying.

To all my friends, let's try our best. ^^