Mid - Autumn festival

This year mid - autumn festival I can say is not good as I expected. I can say that my expectation for this festival is not very high. I only want my family member can happy for this festival and I hope can visit my relative house during this festival but neither of this happen. My feeling while I write this post is sad, disappointed and feeling that are complicated. It is very uncomfortable.

This evening I heard that we will go and visit or relative's house and will held a BBQ party. I heard this I feel very happy and in my heart I think everything is just happen as I hope. But it does not happen as I hope. My parents say that we will held a BBQ but did not invite anyone. The thing that make me feel very sad is during that BBQ, I cannot feel any happiness during that time and my father just keep nagging. I can say that this BBQ I did not enjoy for most of the time.

The BBQ just end in 2 hours only, haiz. During clean up I don't know what happen and my father just get angry without any reason. Of course other members in my family become his victims. Actually I want to say him back but I afraid it will make things even worst so I just endure it.

After that, I know that we would not visit my relative this day just because my father get angry. How can this happen. So I did not say anything and just go into my room and sit in front of computer and watch animation. Normally, when I watching this animation I will laugh but today when I watch it I can't even smile. My happy mood is just like being sealed. My mother told me that this is the first time our relatives celebrate this festival in Ipoh. I know she want to go and visit but just because of one people and make others have to stay at home and doing nothing. This is not the mid - autumn festival that I want.

It is raining now outside and just like my feeling at this moment. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

If I can be a cloud

It is week 13 of my year 1 trimester 1. In this 13 weeks I not only gain a lot of knowledge but also realise one thing that usually being ommited by others. It is the clouds in Kampar.

Sometimes I will go to school very early and sit in the library or canteen just want to enjoy watching the changes of the clouds. When I not happy or just feel like no mood at all I will also watch the cloud. It is very hard for me to tell other that by watching the clouds, your heart will slowly calm down just like a lake. I have this kind of eeling each time I watch the clouds.

At first I also feel that cloud is just a cloud. After sometimes, I just feel that clouds are not as easy that I think. It has different kind of cloud which just like the emotion of human. One thing different is cloud will express its "emotion" whenever you like or not. It would not hide its "emotion" like human. Sometimes I just think that will the relationship among humans can be better if we can express our feeling instead of hiding it inside our heart.

I am very disagree that a person like to hide his/her feeling inside his/her heart and just keep smiling at you like a person wearing a mask with smiling face. It is very scary because we don't know the word we say will hurt him/her or not. I like my friends saying out their feeling even it will cause me unhappy instead of just hiding it inside. However, I like people smiling but the smile must be from the heart instead of force yourself to smile. I know that sometimes we don't want to share our feeling with other is because we scare we will being hurt deeper.

Beside that, I am very admire one of my classmate. His groupmates which doesn't coorperate with him and just keep on delay their work. At first I thought he will complain it to the lecturer but he didn't do like that. The action he takes make me shock because he completes the whole group assignment by himself. When I ask him why he want to do like that and his answer impress me. He say that it is not worth that getting a good result by sacrifying friendships. This sentences is really meaningful.

Taken at my campus cafeteria

Cloud's crying

Presentation @ 18 August 2009

This day can say is my first time wearing formal clothes for presentation. My feeling can say is nervous and also excited. Haha. These few day I have repeat rehearsal for many time for my part of presentation. This is because I want to do my best in it and also want to build up my confidence through it.

3 out of 5 of our presentation group members

Another photo during presentation day. All is our presentation group member except the man with short tie. Haha

Yippe, this photo is taken with Nono(my classmate) after I finish my presentation.

That's all for today, I will be update my blog few days later due to monday and tuesday I got examination.

Good luck to me and all my friends

Raining...raining...and raining

This week I can say that everyday also raining and sommore the time is exactly the time I going back home from my campus.

Actually I love rain but when it rain at the time I want to go home is putting me into a trouble. I have to wear the raincoat and cycling to home. My raincoat is just can cover till my hip. So everytime I reach home my trousers sure already become fully wet. The worst case is the wind blow so heavy during raining. This really torture my bicycle and also torture me.

I really hope that next semester I can have a motor or a car to help me get rid of this problem.

Week 12

It's week 12 already. How can the time pass so fast until I cannot feel it.

It means that two more weeks then is our study break.

I can feel the pressure from the final examination is pushing on me again.

I have promise to myself that I must get a very good result during the 3 years of my university life because I hope I can get a first class honour.

However, I still cannot concentrate on my revision yet because there are still one assignment, one presentation for me to face it. Everytime I want to start revise and these things will come into my mind and cause me cannot concentrate on revision. I really hope I can finish the assignment and presentation as soon as possible.