The last day of 2011

31/12/2011, means today is the last day for year 2011 and it will be in history after 12am later. So, now let me try to express my feeling that I feel for this year. XD

To Toh Jia Chee, this is the first time I write you full name in my blog instead of calling you Jayshee or dear. Hahaha. Its my pleasure to have you as my girlfriends. You make me believe  that long distance relationship can last long as long as each of us trust each other and understand each other. I know many people think that long distance relationship is fragile but we believe that it last long. ^^ Besides that, you have train me become more brave, have my own opinion. You are the first girl that I willing to travel to find you alone. Hahaha. I apologize that I can't find you so often and I know its hard time for you because you need to face the problem alone when I am not beside you. I am glad that you able to go through this hard time and I promise I will help and support you whenever you need it. Love you. ^^

To all my friends, thanks for accompany me all the time and tolerate to the mistake and problem I give to you all. I apologize for the things that I've done that make you all unhappy. For some of my friends, I know you all more during FYP and you all are so friend to each other until willing to accompany each other during extension of FYP. You all have show me what is called "friends". I am so glad to meet you all.

To Yin Huan, Kai Wen, Kit Yin, HL, Saw Yi. You all are so special to me and let me have a feeling that you are closer than my close friends. Hahaha. I also did not expect that I can mix so well with you girls since just me and kin tat joining your gang and we all still can be so friendly and close to each other. So, I think you all are the gift that I received from god and I appreciate it so much. Thanks for provide support to me whenever I feel down and unhappy. Whilst we can play, travel and do crazy things together so happy until no hold back. Besides that, you all also teach me the things that I can never learn without you and make me understand what a girl mind better. However, sometimes when I face a problem, I will think twice before telling you all because I am afraid you all will feel that I am annoying. Anyway, I hope our bond will not break and support each other when either 1 of us need it. BFF

So now, let's us count down for the arrival of the dawn of year 2012 and everything waiting for all of us will be good and all the unhappy thing will become past. *Peace*

Tired

Although is just finish my final exam but still have FYP waiting for me to accomplish it. T_T

These few days I really feel tired because at the time doing FYP, need to type my thesis also, which make me totally exhausted. Luckily still have some nice programme with my friends. Hahaha. Next week going to do one extra sub project which I feel quite curious about it but also feel quite afraid of it because the success rate is not very high. ( My supervisor tell me that ). Really hope things won't mess up. LOL.

Today I just feel like want to be alone and prefer silence. Just want to lay on my bed and listen to some relaxing soft music. Perhaps tomorrow my mood will be better.

December

Well, its December again, the last month for every year. Perhaps got a lot of people is planning for vacation as well as preparing for Christmas. For me, is the rush hour for my FYP, final and also review of the year.

However, this time I change my way to arrange my time. By avoiding giving too much pressure to myself like previous semester where I almost unable to control my emotion. Dear, thank you, after go KL and visit you, you give me a very strong message that I need to take care of myself so that I able to take care of you in the future. I also know that during previous semester you worry I unable to take care of my health due to extremely high pressure I put on to myself. I apologize for that. For the FYP, I know you worry that I might not have enough time to write my thesis and keep on asking me. I can feel your care and I will make the time to finish my thesis. Once again, thanks a lot for giving me mentally support and your caring is so warm to me. I  promise that I will try my very best for my final as well as my FYP. Same to you. ^^

For my friends, let's try our best in the final and give our best for our FYP. Gambateh! Hwating! ^.^

Just be yourself

Today I ask one of my friend: "Will you change yourself in order to get close to another friend or will you change yourself in order to avoid losing a friend." The answer she gave me really good and is the answer that I didn't think before. She is correct, when you change for your friends, just to make the person happy. But the personality that make the person happy is not the real you and when your friend know that you change just to make him/her happy, what will be your friend's feeling? Confirm will make both parties unhappy and more serious, maybe lost one friend. So, just be yourself.

Now, another question arise, if you know that your personality doesn't like by your friend. You are afraid of losing that friend, what should you do? I really have no idea about it. Sometimes I will ask some of my close friend that am I annoying you. I know most people will not answering the true answer but I really want a real answer from the bottom of your heart. Now, I'm really afraid I will lost a friend because of too annoying to you.
I really want to know what is my weakness and my shortcoming (e.g. too loud, too rude, etc). I know its impossible I become totally perfect in front of my friends, but please let me know so that I can try to fix my shortcoming that people really dislike or even hate.

Sometimes when I want to join into a conversation not because I "geh bo" or what, is I want to understand you all more so that have the topic to talk about. Maybe some people will feel I am too fragile or too sensitive after reading this post. But, this is real me and this is the place that I can speak the word and feeling in my heart.

Precious Moment Together With Friends

Yesterday badminton session is not just badminton for me, but is the session that we can play and share together. At that time, I just thinking playing but in the night, when I recall back, I figure it more than that. I also wonder why I will feel like this. This morning finally I know, this is because we all will graduate soon. Be precise is just around 6 more months. Time flies, from the first day at campus till now already 2 and a half year. From I have just 1 friend to have quite a number of friends now. Some are even my close friends where I can share my feeling, or ask for help when needed. The life in uni is different from secondary school life, totally different. Maybe during secondary school, most of us still not that mature yet but in uni, we all are almost adult, mind become more mature and comes from different places. Deep in my heart, I have a question to ask you all, am I really annoying you from the time you know me till now. But this question I really can't saying it out in front of you, but I really wanted to know. I got ask through IM but don't know why the message just cannot delivered. Is this fate?

Other than that, I also thinking what will I say to all my friends on the day we graduate @ convocation. I really cannot think of any words that can tell you all. After graduate, its very hard to gather you all again. So, in this 6 months, I will really really really appreciate every moment we are together.