Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013年的一些人,一些事

最近在某个地方看到一篇文章正讲中了我2013年的一些人,一些事。

这一年,我们早已过了青春期,
渐渐地,对社会的物质,有了追求。
对未来的生活,有了曾经没有的向往和渴望。

这一年,我们早已过了青春期,
渐渐地,厌倦了那些华丽的服饰。
喜欢上了,平凡,喜欢上了,成熟。

这一年,我们有了很多生活费。
渐渐地,学会了赚钱,学会了自力更生。
只为了让生活好一点,只为了让家少一些负担。
就是这样一年,让我不得不长大。

依然是这一年,我们拥有了对事业的向往。
但是,不管怎么努力,梦想离我们的距离总是那么遥远。

依然是这一年,我们拥有了一颗奋斗的心,
但却在年少时遗失了,学习的最好时机。
只能付出比别人更多的努力,来袮补曾经的过失。

就是这样的一年,让我们不得不学会挽回。

依然是这一年,我们遗失了以往的话题,

曾经的话题,变成了,谁谁找到了工作,谁谁买了房子,谁谁买了车子。。。。。。谁谁结婚了。

遗失了曾经那些,无忧无虑的对话,

依然是这一年,我们遗失了以往的情谊,
曾经的诺言,不知道在何时,变得分文不值,灰飞烟灭。
曾经的情谊,不知道在何时,变得相顾无言,生疏许多。

依然是这一年,我们遗失了以往的快乐,
再也没有人,单纯的陪我们说笑。
再也没有人,单纯的来关心我们。

就是这样的一年,让我不得不拿起勇气,去面对一切。

这一年,我们融进了新的生活。
就这样,更换了认识的人,
也不断使自己进入不认识的人们之中去,
既不悲观,也不乐观,
只是每天早上睁开眼睛,去迎接新的一天。
一个人努力的过下去。

这一年,我们努力让自己成熟。
就这样,我们渐渐地融入了社会,
也不断让自己在社会之中学会处事的道理。
为人不好,也不坏,
只是每天用微笑,去面对身边每一个人。
一个人努力地融入社会。
就是这样的一年,让我们不得不将自己融入生活。

这一年,我们学会了调节心理,
因为我们知道,难过的时候,只有自己才能找回快乐。
因为我们知道,迷失的时候,只有自己才能找到出口。
因为我们知道,心态,能决定一切。

这一年,我们学会了累累自己,
因为我们知道现在不努力,以后就没有机会了。
因为我们知道人如果不逼自己,就永远不会明白自己有多能干。
因为我们知道,爱拼才会赢。

就是这样一年,让我们不得不追求梦想。
就是这一年,我们不知道生命中还有多少这一年,
我们知道生命是有限的,因而努力改变自己,让生活快乐一些。
我们知道梦想是遥远的,因而努力地去工作,让自己离梦想近一些。

就是这一年,我们变化最大的一年,
我们长大了,懂得了该努力了。
我们改变了,懂得了曾经错了。

就是这一年,让我们离梦想近了一步。
就是这一年,让我们离父母远了一些。
就是这一年,让我们走进了属于我们的未来。

这一年,我们真的懂了
生活,总是同我们捉迷藏,当我们孜孜以求时,却一无所获。
不要灰心,记住,要努力,要执着,
也许就是在那么一个云淡风轻的早上或一个阳光明媚的下午,整个世界都会开始对我们微笑。

这一年,我们真的懂了
幸福时刻与不可求得,如同爱情。
可是幸福又是那样的简单,好像我们张开双手就能和它相拥。
一切都源于神奇、不可思议的机缘,长久地留驻在我们的心中,
所以,要记住,幸福乃是一种心情,平淡、包容、温暖、可爱。

人生就是个不断成长的过程,每个人都逃避不了时间对人生的洗礼,当我们静静的踏过刚刚的青春岁月,又迈向了下一季青春的绝响,又错过,有收获。

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Disappointment

This week I am totally feel disappointed with what the decision of the company I working for made.
I received a warning letter with a ridiculous reason: I talked too loud. When I read the content of the letter, I was like want to laugh. The whole incident begin like this:
31st October -  I was having a normal discussion as usual with colleague. Suddenly, the sister of boss is like a mad woman shouted to us with very impolite tone. We don't even bother, then she come back again and this time scolded with finger pointed here and there then directly complain to her brother.

1st November - The boss asked me to see him in his office, then I received the warning letter. I can see that he is very afraid I will scold him or what. Keep on saying this is nothing serious, there is no right and wrong. But he need to follow the company SOP. I defend myself but he keep giving me reason that does not make sense. Then, I just giving up and just sign the letter and left a phrase: I am very disappointed with this company.

Now I can understand what a company will like if relatives are holding the managerial level position. There is nothing we can do as employee. From now on, I will just take everything of what you say, nag or what. I will never put any more expectation on the company. Whenever my contract expired or got company that willing to buy over me, I will just leave without any heavy feeling. However, what makes me feel better is that luckily I still have some very good manager and collea

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

最近真的累了,很多事情因为担心达不到自己的要求而放弃,心情就是如此反反复复,不知不觉感觉到心累了。

明明很想你来,可是却怕你会闷坏,所以迟迟无法给你答复。可能我是性格孤僻的人吧,喜欢待在家的感觉,也可能是因为工作了一整天回来,已经没有精力再出去了,享受在家的感觉。或许会说我这个人不浪漫,的确,我是一个不浪漫的人,虽然很努力的去改,可是就是改不到。很多女生喜欢惊喜,可是我却很难给到,也许是自我要求太高了吧。

就要迎接新的开始,希望可以顺顺利利。

Saturday, December 22, 2012

平安夜前夕

很奇怪吧,为什么不是圣诞节前夕。哈哈,其实没什么,就今天是平安夜的前两天。
宁静的夜晚,徐徐微风不断迎面而来,仿佛想把我那虚假的面具吹掉。整个人不知不觉地开始回想自己的事情。
八月,对我来说是个大日子,因为我终于被UM录取为research assistant。心里兴奋的心情压抑不住,恨不得就越赶快到来。
九月,刚开工不到几天,后悔了。这里并没有想象中那么好,位子不够,bench不够,仪器不够,一个小小的pantry,一张桌子竟然是五个人的办公室。也许是还不习惯吧,忍忍看会不会改善。
十月,忍无可忍了。情况每况愈下,lab又来了新人,现在一个星期有两三天是在办公室上网到放工,想做东西却没有位子做。终于鼓起勇气提交了辞职信,提交了过后我好像松了一口气。接下来的日子就把给我的东西做到美美然后交回给senior。另外,也开始找工作了。
十一月,没有任何消息。心里却安慰自己说就当作休息一下吧。可是每当看到朋友工作时,心里都会低落,会埋怨自己为什么还是游手好闲。想找part time,家人却一直念。这个月比较没有压力就是去女友家陪伴她,我可以感觉到她一直鼓励我,给我正能量。所以每当在她家的期间,我会很有斗志,可是一回家后,斗志被家人的冷言冷语磨灭了。
十二月,还是没有消息。心里开始慌了,想逃避这一切。刚巧女友的空,便去她家一个星期。晚上睡觉时连她都知道我压力大,因为一直磨牙。有一次我还崩溃到哭了出来。我真的慌了。心里想,我已经不小了,要开始赚钱了,要不然以后怎样养家呀,怎样给幸福家庭。以前还在求学时,心里的计划是多么的完美,现在却被残酷的现实给慢慢吞噬。我觉得我就是缺乏那份勇气,每当要做事情是,心里都会往坏的方面想,结果放弃了。也许是因为以前做任何事在家人眼中都是错的,自信心变这样被削弱。现在很怕亲戚一直问我有什么打算,我真的不懂我该如何打算。
除此之外,发现到另一个问题。自从五月毕业,我和家人之间好像有隔阂,他们说的话题我完全接不进去。只有他们说,我在听,要不然我就自己回房间。
现在2012快要结束了,快要迎接新的一年了,可是我却没有勇气面对新的到来。我不奢望别人来帮忙因为自己的路要自己走,我只想在这里抒发出来。

Myself


Today did some personality test and found out got one test is showing the real me by showing a very accurate result. The result as followed:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

After read this, I just feels like understanding myself better.