Today I ask one of my friend: "Will you change yourself in order to get close to another friend or will you change yourself in order to avoid losing a friend." The answer she gave me really good and is the answer that I didn't think before. She is correct, when you change for your friends, just to make the person happy. But the personality that make the person happy is not the real you and when your friend know that you change just to make him/her happy, what will be your friend's feeling? Confirm will make both parties unhappy and more serious, maybe lost one friend. So, just be yourself.
Now, another question arise, if you know that your personality doesn't like by your friend. You are afraid of losing that friend, what should you do? I really have no idea about it. Sometimes I will ask some of my close friend that am I annoying you. I know most people will not answering the true answer but I really want a real answer from the bottom of your heart. Now, I'm really afraid I will lost a friend because of too annoying to you.
I really want to know what is my weakness and my shortcoming (e.g. too loud, too rude, etc). I know its impossible I become totally perfect in front of my friends, but please let me know so that I can try to fix my shortcoming that people really dislike or even hate.
Sometimes when I want to join into a conversation not because I "geh bo" or what, is I want to understand you all more so that have the topic to talk about. Maybe some people will feel I am too fragile or too sensitive after reading this post. But, this is real me and this is the place that I can speak the word and feeling in my heart.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Precious Moment Together With Friends
Yesterday badminton session is not just badminton for me, but is the session that we can play and share together. At that time, I just thinking playing but in the night, when I recall back, I figure it more than that. I also wonder why I will feel like this. This morning finally I know, this is because we all will graduate soon. Be precise is just around 6 more months. Time flies, from the first day at campus till now already 2 and a half year. From I have just 1 friend to have quite a number of friends now. Some are even my close friends where I can share my feeling, or ask for help when needed. The life in uni is different from secondary school life, totally different. Maybe during secondary school, most of us still not that mature yet but in uni, we all are almost adult, mind become more mature and comes from different places. Deep in my heart, I have a question to ask you all, am I really annoying you from the time you know me till now. But this question I really can't saying it out in front of you, but I really wanted to know. I got ask through IM but don't know why the message just cannot delivered. Is this fate?
Other than that, I also thinking what will I say to all my friends on the day we graduate @ convocation. I really cannot think of any words that can tell you all. After graduate, its very hard to gather you all again. So, in this 6 months, I will really really really appreciate every moment we are together.
Other than that, I also thinking what will I say to all my friends on the day we graduate @ convocation. I really cannot think of any words that can tell you all. After graduate, its very hard to gather you all again. So, in this 6 months, I will really really really appreciate every moment we are together.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Pressurize
Previous semester: Week 1, aiya, go play play first lar, still got a lot of time one.
This semester: Week 1, what the?!?!?! So many assignments and presentations yet have 1 mid term at week 3. Some more still have the FYP which I worry the most. In campus, I try to put maximum concentration so that I won't make myself so stress. But, when free and feel like nothing to do, my brain started to think of those things again and again.
I was wondering why some people can so steady until can do almost the last minute. Do they so tolerate to the pressure? For me, first, I really dislike last minute work and maybe this is the reason that make me why I feel so stress till like hard to breath.
But luckily I still have my close friends and you to accompany me. I really like and appreciate the moment we all are together playing, eating, chatting. I cannot describe how happy am I at that time. ^^ Although we will have chances like this for around 6 months, but I hope we will never lost contact and can visit each other sometimes. Haha
This semester: Week 1, what the?!?!?! So many assignments and presentations yet have 1 mid term at week 3. Some more still have the FYP which I worry the most. In campus, I try to put maximum concentration so that I won't make myself so stress. But, when free and feel like nothing to do, my brain started to think of those things again and again.
I was wondering why some people can so steady until can do almost the last minute. Do they so tolerate to the pressure? For me, first, I really dislike last minute work and maybe this is the reason that make me why I feel so stress till like hard to breath.
But luckily I still have my close friends and you to accompany me. I really like and appreciate the moment we all are together playing, eating, chatting. I cannot describe how happy am I at that time. ^^ Although we will have chances like this for around 6 months, but I hope we will never lost contact and can visit each other sometimes. Haha
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Chinese entry - 害怕回到从前
从上次写华语日志到现在应该有三年了吧。难怪打起华语字好像有点生疏。
最近心情也和现在的气候产生共鸣，变得低沉。做起事情来都没什么劲。
昨天听电台时听到DJ说现在有一种病成为“群体依赖症”，听着听着发现自己有类似的症状。过后就自己在想是不是太过于依赖朋友，甚至害怕自己会给朋友带来困扰而遭到讨厌。
其实我承认我是蛮依赖友谊，可能是因为从小就被灌输读书，考试等等的东西。从小学到中学我都是被很多人说我很安静，也很少朋友晚上叫我出去因为他们知道我的家人都不会给的。那段时期我真的觉得很孤单，看到朋友玩得很开心而自己却在家里无所事事。那种感觉真的很无助/无奈。可能是那时开始对友谊更加珍惜和依赖。
上了大学，终于摆脱被家人的约束。我开始改变我自己，把自己变得开朗，乐观等等。对友谊更加珍惜，也尽量和朋友混在一起，想尽量认识更多朋友。有时朋友会问我为什么周末都不要回家，我只能笑笑说不得空，其实是不想在家被约束，在这里我可以和朋友一起运动，吃饭，喝茶等等。在家里，其他人都各做各的，想全家人一起坐下来谈天的时刻都没有，想出去可是没有车用，只能呆在房间上网，发呆。。。。。。
可是从昨天开始我发现自己好像太过于依赖朋友，而开始害怕因为这样而失去朋友。可是我已经对一个人的生活方式有恐惧感了。现在不懂有什么两全其美的方法。
我的朋友们，如果我对你们造成困扰时记得告诉我，我不想失去你们才后悔。
最近心情也和现在的气候产生共鸣，变得低沉。做起事情来都没什么劲。
昨天听电台时听到DJ说现在有一种病成为“群体依赖症”，听着听着发现自己有类似的症状。过后就自己在想是不是太过于依赖朋友，甚至害怕自己会给朋友带来困扰而遭到讨厌。
其实我承认我是蛮依赖友谊，可能是因为从小就被灌输读书，考试等等的东西。从小学到中学我都是被很多人说我很安静，也很少朋友晚上叫我出去因为他们知道我的家人都不会给的。那段时期我真的觉得很孤单，看到朋友玩得很开心而自己却在家里无所事事。那种感觉真的很无助/无奈。可能是那时开始对友谊更加珍惜和依赖。
上了大学，终于摆脱被家人的约束。我开始改变我自己，把自己变得开朗，乐观等等。对友谊更加珍惜，也尽量和朋友混在一起，想尽量认识更多朋友。有时朋友会问我为什么周末都不要回家，我只能笑笑说不得空，其实是不想在家被约束，在这里我可以和朋友一起运动，吃饭，喝茶等等。在家里，其他人都各做各的，想全家人一起坐下来谈天的时刻都没有，想出去可是没有车用，只能呆在房间上网，发呆。。。。。。
可是从昨天开始我发现自己好像太过于依赖朋友，而开始害怕因为这样而失去朋友。可是我已经对一个人的生活方式有恐惧感了。现在不懂有什么两全其美的方法。
我的朋友们，如果我对你们造成困扰时记得告诉我，我不想失去你们才后悔。
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Cerebration for us
25/6/2011 till 26/6/2011 can consider as one of my happiest day and also another step for me. Its my first time go KL alone and stay at there for a night which I've never try this before. The reason I happy is that I finally can fulfill what I've promise to you that cerebrate our anniversary together. ^^
25/6/2011
Thanks to my course mate that able to fetch me to ktm station by this day. Haha. After go into the train and sit down. I feel weird because I sit at the wrong seat. Ticket say Coach 1A I sit at 1B, haha, luckily the girl beside me didn't say anything. So I act as I don't know that I sit at the wrong seat until reach my destination. The journey is not very good as the train stop for a few times on the middle of the track. The reason is traffic jam (I am serious). Anyway, I also feel relief that I reach my destination by 10 minutes late only. 1st stage complete. Next, I go with my girlfriend and her friend to Times Square. At first we all plan to take the monorail, when we walk to the station, all the screen showing a sentence :"Our service is having technical issue, delay is expected, sorry for inconvenience." =.=|| No choice, then we go and take taxi, we though we will reach times square soon. Suddenly, the driver say the road close and he just drop us somewhere else and charge us for RM15. WTH!!!. What we do next is go take another rapid kl go to next stop and take monorail to times square. The monorail is the one that having technical problem. It took us more than 2 hours from KL sentral to Times Square and the most important thing is we all hungry like ****. When we reach Times Square then we rush for any food. But the lunch we all have is not nice at all. Some more 1 set cost us RM18. =.=. Sweat again. Then we shopping from Times Square to Lowyat then to Sungei Wang (Of course we all like do a lot of crazy things in between). Hahaha. Next, we all have our dinner at T-bowl. It can say give me a very deep impression as all food is in one toilet bowl and the ice cream is really like a pile of ****.
After that we heading back to hostel and I become a parasite that stick to my girl friend's friend room for a night. After take bath, we all go and play monopoly deal. As me and one of her friend completely don't know how to play and they all keep on teaching and lastly become they're playing more than we're. Haha.
26/6/2011
Its been a cold night as the air-cond in the hostel temperature can't set. One thing very weird is the hostel got a smell that I only smell in a hotel. Its completely the same smell. After take my bath, we all gather at group floor and heading to the place we having our dinner - Subway. Its the first time I being forced to eat so much vegetables in the morning as more than 50% of the bread is vegetables. However, the vegetables is so fresh that I start to love it. XDD. After we chit chat for almost 1 hour+, her friend go back to hostel and both of us go to KL sentral as she want to accompany me till I depart. (I like it ^^) When reach Kl Sentral, both of us sharing one cup of Chocolate Chip Cream (If not wrong) at starbucks and sit until almost the time for me to get on the train. After a kiss Goodbye and I left KL. XD
I can say that the trip is tiring but happy. Dear, I am happy and not regret to woo you that time. I love you. ^^
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