mood quite down

Today I can just say my mood is quite down. I've choose the 2nd choice for today which is spend today with sadness.

These few day I quite easy to get dizzy. I am very scare, today when I wake up from my bed and start to walk to the bathroom. Suddenly I can't see anything, it's totally dark, I feel like I nearly faint. After few second then only become normal again. I know that my body is getting weaker. This March when I go for blood checking, I being told by the doctor that I have anaemia. I did not feel shock because when I know I easily get dizzy, I know that I have a very high chance that I have anaemia. When I see the people playing football, basketball and etc. I also like to join them but my body condition and my skill in that sport is poor. Luckily my anaemia is not serious. I can still cycle, play badminton and some sport. I've been laugh by people before, they say how can a man cannot play soccer or basketball. That time my heart is very pain but I still smile to them and say that I am weak. Maybe this is the reason that make me can't attract girls. Haha.

Beside that, I know many people see me for the 1st time, the first question they ask is are you really XXyears old? why are you so thin. I have listen to this question many times already. I also want myself not to be so thin, I can say I eat a lot but it just doesn't work. So it's very hard to protect anyone. I also think some girl will feel I can't give them the feeling of safety if together with me. Now, I am still trying to accept this truth but sometimes I really want to cry. There are one zodiac prediction is very accurate, it say when I am very sad, I will just use smile to hide it inside my heart. That is true. Haha

Another things that make me feel very sad is today I heard from my friend that one of my secondary school classmate who currently studying in Australia. She had infected by H1N1. Now I very worry about her because we have been classmate for 3 years. Now I still don't know how is her condition because we have lost contact for few months. What I can do is hope she will recover soon.